Everyone can agree that divorces are messy, especially when there are children involved. The toughest part is handling your children while battling your emotions about separating from your spouse. Nevertheless, it is essential to take care of your child’s physical and emotional needs during a divorce.
Divorce tends to shape many areas of a child’s life. You must make sure that your children remain unaffected, despite your and your ex-spouse’s fights and disagreements. This includes being cautious of what you say to them. If you need help getting through a divorce, contact a Massachusetts Divorce Attorney.
What not to say to your children during a divorce
- Do not lie.
Do not disregard a child’s feelings just because they are a child. Your children are a part of your family and will get affected by the divorce. Thus, they deserve to know the truth behind your separation. You may try to hide your fights to protect your children, but it only causes them to wonder what is wrong and come up with their own explanations. Some of them may even begin to think that they are the reason why their mom and dad have broken up.
- Do not blame your child.
As stated in the previous point, children often tend to take the responsibility of their parents’ divorce upon themselves. You should be mindful about what you say during the fights with your ex. You must not say anything that may cause your child to think they are at fault for the divorce. Children bear no responsibility for adults’ mistakes and should never be blamed.
- Do not be emotional blackmail.
The number one rule about parenting is putting your child’s needs above yours. You should never emotionally blackmail your child into doing something. For example, do not tell them that you become sad and lonely when they visit the other parent. It will only cause guilt in your child, and they may no longer enjoy their time with their other parent.
- Do not speak unguarded truth.
While parents should not lie to their children about their divorce, it is equally essential to hide details that may cause damage. For example, you may tell your child that you and your spouse are no longer happy together but refrain from saying that one of you cheated. Remember that your ex is still their parent, and you must avoid saying hurtful or negative things about them.
Getting through a divorce with children is indeed challenging but not impossible. You should not be in a marriage just for the sake of your children. If you are unhappy with your spouse, staying married does not make sense. To initiate a divorce, contact an attorney today.